Shaz,
I wish I had found this site months ago! You sound like you are at the same crossroads I was at nearly 4 years ago. You are so right in thinking that you can't give up the fight. I made the mistake and gave my four kids to their father (2 boys 2 girls). It went bad right from the start with him trying to deny me the contact he promised, and over the next 6 months I ran up a $10,000 solicitor bill while unemployed, in an effort to get them back. My solicitor told me he couldn't represent me at the final hearing as I had only paid him $2,500! I was terrified to represent myself at a trial and knew it was hopeless, so I settled out of court and let the father keep the children. He & the bi*%&# he ran off with, are now raising my children, and denying me as much contact as they feel they can get away with. They are slowly but surely turning the children against me. So please don't give up the fight for your girls! I know it's excruciating, but you CAN do it!! (P.S. Legal Aid took from April to September just to tell me they couldn't get a reply from the Father, and therefore I couldn't have a Legal Aid Conference, so be extremely patient or die of frustration - your choice!!)