Express yourself here. Make your thoughts, experiences, unfair social indignities and anything else that pisses you off about society, heard and visible for all the world to see on this forum.
This society is obviously based on hierarchy, competition, inequality and suppression of nature. There is domination, coercion, psychic (and physical) violence, fear and hate, almost everywhere; in the kindergarten, schools, universities and workplaces. Because the main economic principles are bossing and profit making, it is logical that the main principles of social life are also bossing and profit making, in different way. Violence really is around us. I remember the situation in my school. As a little kid, I was always tense and anxious in the halls, as were all other kids, because every moment somebody could attack me. There was constant fighting, mocking, jelousy, hatred, in the «free» spaces, and constant fear in the classrooms, where the teachers satisfy their sadism and destructiveness. I was always a witness of violence, as I passed through the elementary school, high school, university and even my working place. People are alienated, vicious, they hate life, they can' t understand unconditional love and they hate sexuality. Most of children are bored and utterly unmotivated for thinking, reading, inventing, loving. They are honest about this in the company of their coevals. Many of them drink, smoke and take drugs from the early age.
When I sit on the beach, I see many little infants all around me, being tortured. Their parents shout at them, beat them, neglect them or force them to swim. They are almost fetuses. I am not joking, this is reality. I cant stand seeing this any more, so I go to peaceful beaches. I come to town and what I see? Of course, crying children, young desperados sitting on the benches and drinking. I dont want to see that. I dont want to see beggars, poor people, sick people.
I am humanist and libertarian socialist. I read Kropotkin, Bakunin, Fromm, Reich, and Janov. I had quite a healthy childhood. I grew up in my dark room and attended a difficult, old fashioned elementary school, I had a very few friends and I never even touched a girl. But I was not a little pale monster with red burning eyes, ready to mock at weak, old or different, as were majority of kids I knew. I was interested in various things, in prehistoric world, space, astronomy, in animals, genetic engineering, and in weapons. My parents and other children thought I was mad. I used to write down my theories, speculations, insights and inventions for hours, I used to think and think and think. I read books for students and engineers, I studied viruses, cells and insects. I always had some goal; to discover how to stop aging, to ressurect dinosaurs with PCR method, to construct a spacecraft, to contact aliens, and later, to make a revolution. But I was also very sexual, constantly excited by beautiful women, collected pictures from my mothers magazines, I *********** sometimes three or four times a day.
I always felt negative emotions, I never suppressed anything, I hated authorities, teachers, snd their coercion. I believed that I was a different species, more advanced one, which has the capacity for love, which has the natural instinct for learning and creativity, which is not naturally agressive, but only reactive to violence, which does not need coercion to function, but has self regulation. Later, of course, I replaced this «theory», with humanism and socialism.
I loved one beautiful girl from my class in elementary school, so deeply, so strong, that I thought only my love is real. Actually, I never saw or heard anyone that loved somebody in the way I did. That was not an addiction, it was pure pleasure, sexual excitement was only a piece of this experience. I love the same girl even now.
I always wanted to know what exactly is happening in the brain when we feel love and feel hate, when we repress and act in sadistic way. I studied neurology literature and found some answers. Most of people behave as they do because the system, which drives the adults to be violent, feared, depressive, apathic and ascetic, inflicts wounds on the newborn and young children, by means of authoritarianism, neglect, religious practices (suppression of sex, circumscision). As they grow up, they are constantly scared in disciplinarian institutions, forced into competition which fills them with distrust and hate, teached to be conformists and servile, not to think for themselves, to abandon their original feelings and thoughts, to be like everyone else. Of course, not to break so many unwriten and writen codes is impossible, so it contributes to anxiety and guilt. To be completely asexual is impossible, so there is aditional guilt.
Human being naturally oposes external coercion, humiliation, fear, conformism, sadism, and strives towards full individuality, creativity, love, cooperation, and sexual pleasure. We can see how many negative feelings stem from all this. They just have to be suppressed, otherwise, a person would go mad. Of course, there are individuals who feel, who are very desper
ate about the situation, who are conscious. They can also love, because they are sad or angry only when are directly hurt, and feeling passes, or when they think about the system and remember. Their energy is not used up for repression, it feeds love. They have connected brain hemispheres-right and left, and operative flow of information between them. So that is why some of us can see «the whole picture», and think holistically, creatively. That is why to some of us everything has emotional colour, everything is fully alive. There is a gift of feeling. Right hemisphere, or right frontal lobe, is a center of emotional, global, creative thinking, and also of empathy and love. Of course, it is functional only if synchronised and integrated with left lobe. It is probably the answer.
Authoritarian system meets the needs of neurotics, it enables them to satisfy their sadism, servitude, hate, narcissism, greed, selfishness. I am convinced that these needs are escape from anxiety, feelings of weakness, isolation and insignificance. I agree with Erich Fromm in this sense. But I do not believe there is some existential, basic, inherent fear that drives man, but that it is instilled in a child by the practise of parenting, schooling, and so on. Fear naturaly is a feeling of vulnerability and powerlessness or just stimulates those feelings when it is unconscious. Sadism works because it suppresses that fear and creates false emotion of power. Left hemisphere finds the outlet in violence and grows stronger to suppress the right side. Dopamine blocks neurons in the corpus calosum. That is how the dummified, uncreative, servile authoritarian character is formed.
How could it be otherwise? The system needs such people. They maintain it, they are part of it. It is self repeating. How could the capitalistic and state hierarchy function if the people were not a mass, but developed personalities, empathic, loving, freedom-seeking, cooperative, non violent, non greedy, non sadistic, not lazy and not obsessed with popularity and power? We would then see equality, direct democracy, collective property, non coercive institutions. We would do away with the money and competition. Solidarity would be a basic principle.