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Harpo Tribute Page Message Board
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How I met, and fell in love with, Harpo

It all started in early January, 1980. My (now-ex)husband was then a freshman in medical school at the University of Utah. After working at menial jobs, and trying unsuccessfully to get (and stay) pregnant, for more than five years, I had decided to take some classes, and try to finish my college degree. I figured, if nothing else, this would provide some distraction from the infertility issues, which had totally consumed me for so long.

I had signed up for a theater history class. The class covered motion pictures of the early sound era. The movies for the class were screened in the classroom, in the late afternoons, projected on a large screen (this was before VCRs). I showed up for the first, not knowing what was going to be shown. When the words, "The Four Marx Brothers" came across the screen, I thought, "Oh no!". The Marx Brothers just reminded me of all those nights I spent, as a teen, struggling to stay awake, while babysitting until the early morning hours.

What I did not realize was that the presentation of chopped up scenes from Mark Brothers' movies, shown on the late, late, late show, did not present me with a reasonable opportunity to appreciate their work. I realized this after viewing the first few seconds of "Horse Feathers" in that classroom. By the time the movie was over, I was a genuine Marx Brothers fan!

I decided to make Horse Feathers the subject of my term paper for the class, and started researching, immediately. Fortunately, the library there was well stocked with books about the Marx Brothers, most of which were written by Groucho. Something unexpected happened. I did not just research a term paper, I met, and grew to love and appreciate, an incredible family!

When I checked out "Harpo Speaks", the first thing I did was flip through the photo section. When I came to the page with Harpo and Susan, and the telegram from Alexander Woolcott, congratulating them on the arrival of Billy, I thought "Of course! Everyone is fertile but me!". It was a terrible time for me. It had been nearly a decade since I had lost my first, and only, biological baby, and I was desparate for another baby. I felt like God was punishing me, while allowing nearly everyone else in the world to have babies, including people who did not want them and would abuse them. A form of infertility treatment that we had put alot of hope in, and spent the previous months trying, had not been successful. We'd recently had some interviews with an adoption agency, where almost everything about us was scrutinized, and we had been given a list of things we needed to improve on, before we would be considered "worthy" to adopt a baby. We had been told that it would take at least three years. I wasn't sure I could live through it for another three years, period, let alone while struggling to please a judgemental social worker!

Then, flipping through the pages of the book, I noticed the word "adoption". I found the account of Billy's adoption, and read that, and all the rest that dealt with the adoption of Harpo and Susan's four children. I read alot of it through tears. By the time I got through that wonderful, beautiful, story, I knew that, no matter how long it might take us to adopt a child, it would be worth whatever I had to do to make it happen.

For the next three years, Harpo encouraged and inspired me through the struggle to become a mother. I read Harpo Speaks many times, and turned to the part about his children whenever I got discouraged. Finally, in April, 1983, at all paid off, with the adoption of our first child, Stephen. Over the next twelve years, Harpo continued to inspire me through the adoptions of Allan, Thomas, Julia, Joseph, and Joanna.

Harpo taught me alot about how to make the most of living. I am glad that he was here, and that he left so much of himself here, for me, and others whose lives he would bless.

I love you, Harpo!

Re: How I met, and fell in love with, Harpo

What a beautiful story Darillyn.
Thank you for posting it here.

Harpo has touched so many lives, it's really amazing.
I have a story to tell as well. In fact, I seriously doubt that I would even be here today if it wasn't for Harpo. He is a true gift from God.
If anyone would like to write in their account of how Harpo made a difference in their lives, please feel free to do so.

Re: Re: How I met, and fell in love with, Harpo

In 1972, I was 13 years old here in Utah. My brother flew in from L.A. to spend Christmas with our family, and his gift for me that year was a book called "Why a Duck?" which was on the Marx Brothers. I started reading and looking at the pictures, and wanted desperately to see one of the brothers' films, but there was no venue to do so, and I couldn't find anything on television at the time.

One day I noticed that there was this small theater in Salt Lake City called THE BLUE MOUSE that was showing "Horsefeathers." I asked my parents to take me there to see the film, and they allowed me to take a couple of buddies. Needless to say after seeing the film, I was a confirmed fan. So were my friends. The Blue Mouse continued to show many of the Marxes' films. My folks were probably tired of driving their son and his friends 25 miles to see a film, but they knew that I was passionate about it, and never complained.

In 9th grade, I did a research paper on the brothers, and it became apparent to me that Harpo was becoming my favorite. Everyone that was interviewed said that he was truly a saint, and also everyone's favorite, including Groucho. Arthur Marx, Groucho's son, reported in his book "Son of Groucho" that that was the only time he saw his father cry, was when Harpo died. Harpo's son Billy said, "I wish I could convey the sense of self Harpo had...I wish I could...but I can't."

Not only has Harpo always tickled my funny bone, he has always been an example to me of how to live life as a father, friend, and husband. "Harpo Speaks" is truly a wonderful book, and at the first Harpo says, "I don't know if my life has been a success or a failure." I can assure you, Harpo....you were a success!! Rest in peace, my friend. HONK HONK!